7 Questions to Ask Yourself to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)

An essential part of life is identifying different types of intelligence and integrating them into daily practice. Most of us are familiar with IQ, but not nearly enough know how to identify and measure our EQ, Emotional Intelligence Quotient.

EQ is the ability to recognize and manage our emotions and the emotions of others. Individuals with a high EQ can identify how their behavior is influenced by their emotions. Once EQ is increased, an individual has more control over how they conduct themselves in all interpersonal relationships.

Those who have a lower EQ:

-practice passive aggressive communication

-are closed-minded to feedback

-blame other for their mistakes

-have a victim mentality

-are leaders who do not listen to their subordinates

Having a strong awareness of EQ:

-increases productivity within the workplace

-reduces stress and anxiety during life challenges

-boosts the capability to defuse conflicts

-improves relationships with others

-develops leadership qualities

To increase your Emotional Intelligence, it’s important to ask yourself a few questions to increase your overall self-awareness. Below are seven questions to answer to better understand how your emotions create a patterned behavior. Grab a pen and paper- let’s dive deep into your Emotional Intelligence.

How do my emotions affect my actions?

The first step to increasing your Emotional Intelligence is becoming aware how your emotions influence your behavior.

Try this exercise

Think about the last time you felt the following emotions:

-anxious

-anger

-jealousy

-fear

-guilt

-overwhelmed

-resentment

-curious

-satisfaction

-love

-happiness

-enthusiasm

-gratitude

I want you to jot down what actions you took due to your emotions. When you keep record of how your emotions influence your behavior in the past, you’ll have better control on how to manage the decisions you make when feeling a certain emotion in the future.

Am I aware of my emotional blind spots?

A lot of us aren’t aware of our emotional blind spots. These are awareness gaps of how you see yourself and are critical areas of growth. Becoming more self-aware of your emotions, how they affect others and how they affect your behavior are crucial to your EQ. Finding your blind spots on your own is sometime difficult- you can’t change what you’re not aware of. Let’s chat and really dig into your Emotional Intelligence.

What do others say to me and how do they say them?

Becoming aware of others' emotions is important to successful interpersonal relationships of all types. Within the workplace, are you aware of others’ feelings and able to identify a common vision among all involved? In your romantic relationship, can you pick up on what your significant other wants and needs? When talking through issues with friends and family, do you often find yourself undertaking a victim mentality? Being mindful of others’ feeling and emotions can benefit your overall social well-being.

What triggers my emotions?

Acknowledging and identifying a full spectrum of emotions is crucial to taking control of them. Part of what makes us human is experiencing 50% positive emotions and 50% negative emotions. However, I want to be very clear that negative emotions aren’t always bad experiences and not all positive emotions are good experiences. For example, comfort is a calming, positive emotion, however it can result in feeling complacent if not handled correctly. Let's identify what triggers your full spectrum of emotions:

Take a minute to write down what triggers the emotions listed below:

-anger

-worry

-confusion

-overwhelmed

-resentment

-curious

-comfort

-courage

-acceptance

-compassion

Can I recognize when I’m about to lose my temper?

Feeling overwhelmed, jealous, anxious or resentful often leads to losing control over your emotions and results in losing your temper. The key is to not resist, react or ignore your emotions. Once you can understand and accept your emotions, you can take control of how your emotions make you behave. First step is to recognize what leads you to lose control of your emotions.

What social cues do I send?

Now that we discussed what triggers our emotions and how they affect our actions, we now have to identity the social cues we give when experiencing these emotions. This is crucial when better handling your emotions within interpersonal relationships. For our next exercise, pick one emotion you want to gain more control over.

Write down what social cues you send when feeling that emotion:

-facial expressions

-body language

-voice pitch and tone

-personal space

Do I practice smiling?

I know it might sound silly, but I’m serious- do you practice smiling? There are data supporting the fact that consistent smiling increases overall emotional health and is often contagious. By simply smiling, you can take control of your behaviors and social cues due to your emotions.

Putting it Into Practice:

Once you’ve completed the three exercises from this blog, I encourage you to schedule a time to talk with me! My free consultation will detail how your new-found insight on your current Emotional Intelligence can be heighten with just a little support. Can’t wait to chat!


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